How to Add Your Participation in the January 6th Perfectly Fine Gathering to Your Resume Now That You've Been Pardoned

🫡 You're a patriot, and you deserve recognition. 🏆

Daniel Verastiqui

21 Jan 2025 — 4 min read

Congratulations on your recent pardon by President Donald J. Trump! I can't imagine what it's like to receive absolution from the leader of the free world, but I imagine it's a lot like when you win the big teddy bear at the carnival. Now that you won't be facing any unfair jail time, you need to think about your future, about what other gatherings of like-minded individuals you might attend, which tattoos you'll get plastered on your chest, and more importantly, how to let people know you participated in an unprecedented show of support for the only man who can save America from... America.

The best way to let people know who you are and what you did (besides the aforementioned tattoos) would be to add your participation in J6 to your resume. But how do you let potential employers know you're a convicted felon with a Presidential pardon in your back pocket? You weren't exactly hired to participate (or were you?), so you'll want to add this exciting new information towards the end of your resume as an Extracurricular.

The Benefits of Extracurriculars

Adding extracurricular activities to your resume can set you apart from other candidates and showcase qualities that might not be evident from your work experience alone. Here are some benefits:

Demonstrates Soft Skills: Participating in marches, stormings, and attempted lynchings of Vice Presidents often helps in developing key soft skills such as leadership, teamwork, communication, and time management.
Shows Well-roundedness: It gives potential employers a glimpse into your interests in con men and passion for supporting people who don't care about you in the slightest, highlighting that you're a well-rounded individual with varied experiences.
Exhibits Commitment: Consistent involvement in activities outside of work or academics shows dedication and the ability to manage multiple responsibilities, especially those that may result in lengthy jail time.
Provides Networking Opportunities: Involvement in clubs, sports, or volunteer work often leads to building a strong professional network of insurrectionists that can be beneficial in your career.
Offers Unique Experiences: Extracurriculars can provide unique experiences that make for great conversation starters in interviews, setting you apart from other candidates, because honestly, how often does a person get to try to overthrow the government?

These are some of the key advantages of including extracurricular activities on your resume, adding depth to your qualifications and making you a more appealing domestic terrorist.

Resume Examples

Here's how it might look:

Volunteering & Special Skills

Helped organize 1,500+ member insurrection for local dictator, including an implied murder of a Vice President, exceeding expected penetration of secure government buildings, resulting in multiple casualties.
Expert in high-pressure negotiations with local, state, and federal law enforcement.
Proficient in crowd management and ad-hoc logistics.
Experienced in unconventional building entry strategies.
Proven ability to think outside the Constitution.
Enjoys participating in light treason and heavy denial.
Demonstrated commitment to wildly unrealistic goals.

I wouldn't list all of those. Three to four should be fine.