My personal recession indicator? My TBR pile now lives in my Amazon cart.

I don't have aspirations of being filthy rich. As a self-published science fiction author, that kind of dream would just eat away at my soul every time I looked at my monthly royalty report. But I did imagine a life where I could buy any book I wanted at any time. Years ago, when I got into YNAB in a big way, I had a saying, there is no budget when it comes to books. Buy them. Stack them. Post pictures of them on Instagram.

And if there's time, read them.

For a while, that system worked pretty well. As recently as this year, I was posting my TBR pile to Instagram while simultaneously loathing myself for using that platform. But over the last several months, it's become harder to click that Buy Now button. Now the books just languish in my cart. Not even in my cart—in my Saved for Later section.

So what are these books? Surely they're rare editions of literary masterpieces with price tags in the triple digits, right?

Well, since I can't post a picture of them on Instagram, let's have a look.

The Writer's Guide to Weapons: A Practical Reference for Using Firearms and Knives in Fiction by Benjamin Sobieck

When I was a kid, my friends and I went out one day and bought BB guns, and that's how I fell in love with the Sig Sauer P226 9mm pistol. A plastic version of it anyway. I've owned an Airsoft-esque version of a P226 ever since, and I put them into almost every story I write. Jessie uses Gordon's for target practice in Brigham Plaza, it's Doyle's daily carry in Por Vida, and more recently, used by one of my characters in Book 9.

It was a line in Book 9 where the character "clicks off the safety" that gave me pause. Does the P226 even have a safety? (My plastic version does, oddly enough.) Three hours and a lot of Googling later, the answer was no, so I deleted the line from my story. When I related this story to a gun enthusiast friend of mine, he recommended this book, and I can't wait to dig into it.

Not just to learn more about guns... but also so I can give my characters something else to carry around than a P226.

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

I've been seeing this book pop up in Instagram reels like every day. People swear by its advice about creating a writing routine. I usually don't go in for people telling other people "how to be an author" (or an artist), but I do enjoy hearing how other people go about their writerly lives. As Bruce Lee said, "Absorb what is useful, discard what is not." That's the golden rule when it comes to writing advice.

More than likely, it will go on the shelf between How Not to Write a Novel and Bird by Bird. An artifact to be glanced at, maybe skimmed through, but never fully read. And yet, I will still buy it.

The Odyssey by Homer

"You've never read the book?!" This was the question posed at me by my wife as we left the theater after watching Christopher Nolan's VERY LOUD Odyssey movie. It was a good show, though I liked it better the first time I saw it, when it was called Everyone Back to the Ship!

There are a great number of literary classics that I have not read, and all signs point to me probably never reading them. But The Odyssey had some great elements, and I'm curious to read more about the sirens and giants and the other pieces that didn't get a lot of attention in the movie.

Strange Buildings by Uketsu

After tearing through Strange Houses and Strange Pictures, I see no reason not to add the third entry in the series to my collection. The previous books have been oddly creepy and satisfyingly mysterious. I'm a sucker for books where the author wants to pit their wits against yours, wants to feed you like a baby bird on the off chance you can solve the mystery before they have to step in and reveal it. I've been trying to do that more in my stories, but this author just gets it.

I can't recommend this series enough.

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

This was another recommendation, which I almost don't want to read because my dream is to be a full-on misanthropic hermit as I get into my 70s and 80s. What do you mean you want me to be happy? What makes you think it's even possible?!

Even if this book doesn't make me happy (and since it's not a 3-piece fish product meal from Long John Silver's, it can't), I still find self-help and psychotherapy books useful for writing. Book 9 has a heavy focus on the relationship between a son and his father, and ideas from books like Under Saturn's Shadow, Puer Aeternus, and Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members have been helpful in building that dynamic. The protagonist is also very much a it won't turn out well so I'm not going to do it kind of guy, which is the kind of thinking that Stumbling on Happiness seeks to undo (I'm guessing).

It's just like the Writer's Guide to Weapons—I want to know how to do it right so I can accurately write doing it wrong. Boy, that's a mouthful. A better writer would have stated that better.

Life Out of Order by Audrey Niffenegger

This one is a bit of a cheat, but I saw a connection on Goodreads add this to her Want to Read list. I can't believe we're actually getting a sequel to The Time Traveler's Wife, one of the most amazing science fiction books I've ever read, right up with there with Wild Seed by Octavia Butler. I haven't pre-ordered it yet, but I can't imagine not picking this up on day one and actually reading it.

I don't even know what it's about. I'm purposefully not reading the description.

I don't care. It's an auto-buy.

When thinking about how to close out this post, I briefly considered mentioning that every royalty I get from you buying my books goes towards purchasing these other books, but that would be a lie. The weird thing about this uncertain economic time is that things are getting less affordable, but books are pretty much staying the same prices. And yet it just feels... wrong... to buy these books when they're just going to sit on the bookshelf behind me. Why not let them just sit on the shelf at one of Bezos' many, many warehouses?

It's funny how spending money has changed as I get older. I fret about $50 in books sitting in my Amazon cart, and then Steam hits me with this:

With my HTC Vive collecting dust on the shelf next to the PSVR2, there is absolutely no way I can justify another VR headset. And yet... how am I supposed to write about virtual reality if I'm not living in it?!

I think you'll agree that I can't. Holding off on books and dropping $1,100 on a VR headset is the only reasonable option.

Please drop that in an email to my wife when you have a moment.