April 23, 2022

4:23 AM

The more I play of Returnal (Ascension), the more I’m convinced that my brain isn’t functioning properly. There is no way to win this game. You just keep playing. You just keep dying. Nothing changes.

I’ve gotten pretty good at running through levels 1-3… but something happens at 4. The enemies get tougher, and by then, your proficiency and integrity are maxed out. And then I get the feeling: is this really what I should be doing?

Aren’t there more important things happening in the world?

For example: *gestures vaguely to everything*

In other news, I used to have crippling social anxiety, so much so that whenever I was outside my house, I was always convinced someone was watching me. Even if I was just walking around or doing yard work, I was super self-conscious of how I looked. Was I digging a hole correctly? Was I emptying the lawn clippings like a doofus? That kind of stupid thing.

Turns out my anxiety was well-founded. I am being watched.