Time flies when you have your first child, and though I'm happy Matador is burning through his Terrible Twos, I miss the days of his infancy where, if you put him somewhere, he would stay there. Then there was all the napping. That was nice too. But nowadays, he wants to run from room to room, he wants to sit down and stand up, and he wants to ride on my back while I buck like a horse.
It's always awkward to join a new group. Worse, most adults experience this in a fitness setting: Camp Gladiator, Soul Cycle, Orange Theory, and the like. What do you say to people at six in the morning who just want to get in their workout and get out? Well, if you're awkward man-child Daniel Verastiqui, sometimes you say Elaine's about to die. And sometimes, you say it to the woman standing...
It's not easy maintaining the perfect dad bod. You have to keep your arms and legs slim while eating enough carbs and sugar to let your stomach balloon out to a second trimester baby bump. You're already tired running around after your kid, and with the cost of diapers rising to inkjet cartridge levels, money is tighter than ever. So when it comes to fitness, it's important to choose the solution...