In capitalist America, upsells are everywhere, and that includes the world of medicine. No longer are doctors trying to treat your ailments and keep you healthy; now they’re just trying to meet their quota for number of prostate exams they book each quarter. And that’s exactly what happened a while back with a specialist, so I brought it up with my doctor. Surprisingly, he didn’t upsell me on anything–no exam, no blood test, nothing. I almost started to feel respect for this man of medicine, but then he said we should probably schedule your first colonoscopy when you’re forty, and while you’re under, do an endoscopy at the same time. And all I said was, what if the cameras run into each other?

He didn’t upsell me, but he didn’t laugh either.

And that’s why I can no longer trust him, because I laughed the entire way home.