When it comes to getting the family out of the house during Texas summers, there are really only two requirements when choosing a destination: it has to be inside and it can’t be outside. With that in mind, the four of us piled into the Highlander this past weekend and headed to the Domain where we had heard tell of an entire museum dedicated to that holiest of holy miracles, ice cream. Things were rocky from get-go.
Even Steven No More
Much like Jerry Seinfeld’s character Jerry Seinfeld from the hit NBC sitcom Seinfeld, my luck always tends to even out. I don’t have runs of bad luck or runs of good luck. It’s very middle of the road. So when something like a museum of goddamn ice cream comes along, I’m prepared for the universe to put its thumb on the scales to get things back to even.
In this case, it was allergies. Headache-inducing, nose-blowing, honking-sneezers allergies! And the worst part? Being sick robbed me of my precious appetite. Imagine how much I, Daniel Verastiqui, would eat at a museum of ice cream. I ate the exact opposite of that.
It was quite depressing, and I’d rather not talk about it anymore.
It’s an Insta-Tik-Tok World
I don’t know what I was from the MIC. I haven’t been to many museums, but I thought we’d be learning about the origins of ice cream and maybe see some ancient equipment or I don’t know wigwams or something. Here’s what we saw instead, broken up by rooms (oh, I’m sorry, experiences).
- The Queue – Grab a nametag and give yourself a funny ice cream like Berry Cherry Mary or Pistachio Pamela or Fudge Monkey. While you’re doing that, we’re just gonna blare music at you until you’re having fun.
- Ye Ol’ Ice Cream Shoppe – Sample three delicious flavors (that’s not sarcasm; ice cream is good) at the ice cream shop complete with very loud jukebox that makes your toddler cover ears so that you have to spoon feed him ice cream.
- The Swing – Snap an Insta on the Swing!
- The Banana Room – Snap a Tik-Tok in the bananas!
- The Candy Shop – Snap an Insta-Tik-Tok in the Candy Shop!
I’m gonna stop there before things get too negative. My wife already thinks I don’t enjoy anything outside the house, but that simply isn’t true. I love taking Matador places, and he had a lot of fun at the MIC, but I do get the sense it wasn’t built for him.
It was more of a pop-up photo-op thing, designed for you to come and snap filtered photos that you share on Instagram that get other people to come snap photos that they share on Instagram.
If I’m this much of a curmudgeon at 41, imagine me at 61. In the shower. Coughing. Go ahead. Imagine it.
WE had fun
And that’s all that matters. We’re living vicariously through our son and his discovery of the world around him. He likes sugar as much as the next kid, but what he really enjoyed was Sprinkle Pool.
It’s exactly what it sounds like: a huge pool full of plastic sprinkles. Dom even jumped in to play with him. The crowd wasn’t bad either, and most people wore their masks as much as they could. The ice cream was good, though small in portion, but between that and the candy and the cotton candy, you should be fine all the way through to the gift shop.
Or, you can do what we did, and head over to the Yard Bar which sells extravagant milkshakes the likes of which you’ve never experienced before!
I was so excited.
We were so close.
Then Matador saw a lemonade stand shaped like a huge lemon and we got distracted.
Oh well, that’s Even Steven Verastiqui for you.
Now we just have to decide what indoor activity we’ll be doing next.
(Some of these photos were taken by Dom and were posted here without her knowledge or permission don’t rat me out and ruin my marriage.)